Not all Silence is Meditation
I often get asked what’s wrong?. Or nowadays “Hey, Allgood”?
Over the years going far back until my memory fades into a small poof of smoke, it has always been the same question. Now, not saying that this is a question that makes me cringe, though more of why do people ask me this?
What is it that makes people ask What’s wrong?
I wonder often is it the blank stare with the delay of time it takes for me to answer a question? Or how witty I can be to just answer without a thought process? Is it because my personality at times changes quickly from the imagination of an ornament coming to life right up to enjoying dancing to an offbeat drum? Maybe it’s my random flamboyance that disguises me?
Sitting at the back of the class and visualization of the future then was always hard to process. I would think it and it would happen.
The outer shell stays hard through the inner layer is soft. That cashmere voice that never ends teaches you that the hard way.
Advice usually benefits the one giving the advice more than the one receiving it. The one receiving will always think is it advice? Is it relevant to what I need? Sitting in a room talking with someone you don’t know, never gives you advice though points in the right direction. Is it? I allow people to vent to me though don’t overexpose this as I tend to fall into the vulnerability trap of others airing dirty laundry to me as it seems I listen.
It’s more of a build-up, explosion of other problems.
I was once told “You need a nutcracker to work you out”, I wasn’t sure if this was a compliment or advice. My reply with an unstimulating leer “Well look, I am not general”
The room went silent, my ear popped, BOOM! next subject.
It is not a form of meditation
Not all silence is a sign of a troubled mind nor is it always a form of meditation. Have you ever thought that silence is not silent? A person who thinks endlessly from the AM to PM it is no doubt their mind is running 100 miles an hour and their thought process is already 10 steps ahead of you. When someone is silent this doesn’t always mean something is wrong, it’s simply a process of thought without speech, most of the time it’s an evaluation of the last few days, months or years and the present time of silence. Evaluation is the key.
It’s a Hybrid of mindfulness shifting your behaviour to match new thoughts and processing to what comes next. Trying to explain the thought process that I have is like generating a story, and then generating the meaning of the story before it ends if there is an end.
Let’s look deeper, it’s like not having a single clear shape or seeming to defy categorization. Boredom is danger and deep thought is the defibrillator. To get lost in thought while analyzing something or trying to identify potential solutions to problems is how the solution is determined, it’s a game. Simple as that. Like playing Chess. Knowing what you are thinking and how you are thinking.
Condensation can appear often though with this, frustration appears and a solution must be found. This is where deep silence can last for days, months though everything is ok.
It’s like you are told you’re standing in a box but it is a circle frequently in touch with the focus on the present sensory, the input with cognitive elaboration and emotional reactivity. No corners.
Once the solution is found it’s usually an outburst or thoughts that have been filed and emotions that have been visually seen and heard. Whether it be in the past or knowing the outcome in the future. The solution is in the thinkers right to express without being told something is wrong with them. Silence is usually the gateway to one’s resources.
It’s all good…
