Non believer-Voices

Talk about Jesus doesn't mean I need Jesus or to be pleased. I have been fighting against these demons like it is demon season, I've been sitting and repeating. I have to fix my life now. I have been drowning in my feelings. I have to change my lifestyle, sick of the sulking, talking without any action. The way that I am living is blocking the vision, I am blinded by all of the distractions. I have a bible and I don't even read it, he made me a leader and I am not leading, I don't know how I am still breathing.

I know the purpose and I don't achieve it. My friend's and family have slowly retreated, I push them away and get mad when they leave. I don't go to therapy when I know I need it, I know my mistakes but I continually repeat it. But I cant, I cant fall on the tracks, the weapon that forms against me will catch me slipping. Its difficult to try and resist it when he drops it on my lap. The enemy is setting the trap , I cant fall in traps.